Your fear of being judged on video is 100% valid.
There are loads of biological and psychological reasons to back this up.
As humans, it’s always been beneficial to belong and to fit in with the group. Ever since we lived in tribes, we had to belong to be able to survive so that we wouldn’t get eaten by wild animals – you always had a better chance of survival being a part of a group as opposed to staying on your own.
So it’s completely normal to be worried about what people think of you, and how they see you, because deep down, we do want to belong. We’re social creatures, in the end.
So what does this have to do with video?
Well, when we post video content, especially with ourselves in it, we do so to show up and attract attention. As you may guess, that attention will trigger the accept or reject reaction. This helps us to identify ‘our crowd’ and have them support us. It’s all related to the feeling of belonging.
We post video content to gain more business. Yet what many of us are worried about is… what our friends and family will be thinking. We worry about what THEY’ll think more than anybody else.
I understand since most of you are planning to post on social media, you’ll be putting yourself right in front of individuals you know, including individuals prone to judging you, like the old classmate who used to tease you, or the popular girl from A-levels who used to look down on you and criticise your appearance.
You’re also probably worried that once you put your video out there, it will be out there forever.
“Oh no, what if I make a mistake and it circulates the Internet for all eternity?”
“What if it doesn’t look good enough? What will people think of me?”
“How do I even make a video people will like?”
“How do I tell a story?”
You get too nervous and overwhelmed so you hide behind a static photo or maybe you just don’t post anything online at all.
I understand this perfectly because I used to be like this too.
It was so bad, that I even ran a production business for a few months without even having a website… because I was terrified of the judgment from others and so instead chose to subconsciously hide.
Of course, I had a few links where my potential clients could check out some examples of my work, but I didn’t have a single place online that showed my portfolio or a place I could use to direct people to, as an online business card.
I didn’t want people to see my work because I was scared that it wasn’t good enough.
I wouldn’t post videos or pictures of myself because I was scared of being judged and trolled, along with everything else that I just mentioned above.
But I want you to know that all of these fears are just fears, and they are what is called “perceived fears.”
What does that mean?
Perceived fear is something we imagine is dangerous, whilst there is no real danger to our life, health, or wellbeing present. It’s basically us imagining all the horrible things that in most cases would not ever happen.
I mean, look at the tens of millions of people online. Do they all get trolled and bullied? Why would they still be online then? How could some professionals build their business completely online if the danger was real and would lead to some horrible issues and results?
The message above is basically the following: the fear of being judged can be overcome, because even though it does feel a bit daunting, once we start breaking things down and digging into what’s bothering you, it all becomes a little easier.
That is exactly what my clients experience – a massive shift in perception that helps focus on the business side of things when it comes to video. I help business owners overcome their fears around visibility.
So know you are not alone, and there are many people just like you who are struggling with the same thing. As part of my work, I offer free assessments around visibility and if you feel like this is something you’d like to explore, you can learn more here.
Now, I’ve already identified five key points that are crucial to helping you overcome these fears.
Let’s dive in and get you showing up on video and using it to grow your fabulous business!
How to Overcome the Fear of Being Judged on Video:
#1- Understand The Purpose of Your Video
Keep this in mind: Why are you posting your video?
A lot of difficulty with being judged comes from you subconsciously having an intention different from what you consciously plan for it to be.
In many cases, you subconsciously expect for your video to be assessed for how good it is and how good you are by those who are watching it.
While your original, conscious plan is to post because you want to optimize your social media, but unfortunately your subconscious fears end up getting in the way and so ultimately the intention actually lands on being judged.
Your fear ends up taking over and now your thoughts revolve around being assessed as to how good your video is and various horrible rejection stories take off in your head before you’ve even pressed record.
The more your brain is thinking: “Am I speaking well enough? Do I look good enough? Do I sound alright? Will people like what I do? Will they like me?” the more it will come across in your video that you’re searching for approval.
So it’s really important to have your intention clear and set your mind to using video as a tool for growing your business, as well as showing up online and marketing yourself and allowing people to really resonate with you and your brand. Keep that focus really clear.
That is the best purpose you can choose to focus on.
#2 – Remember Who You’re Posting For
As worried as you are about your friends and family judging you – are they even your ideal clients?
Chances are they’re probably not, so it doesn’t matter too much if they don’t like your video.
Have it clear in your mind who you’re really posting your video for.
Of course, some people from your circle will still comment. There will probably be quite a lot – you’re doing something new and people are going to notice.
Just keep your focus on serving your ideal clients, and try not to worry too much about what your friends and family members are saying.
If it does feel weird, still, then there are two ways of dealing with it:
You can either delete people who are uncomfortable, say if you only accepted somebody as a friend just out of politeness, then maybe consider deleting them. Because if they stand in your way of posting and you can’t overcome that, then it’s probably best that you choose not to be friends with them.
If you use your personal profile then you can consider creating another profile specifically for your business where you will be able to post things that are aimed at your clients. This will also help you separate your personal life from your business and will take away a lot of pressure.
#3 – Plan It Out!
This is where you can take all those worries you have in your head and actually do something positive with them.
The trick is to think about your doubts and then make a plan to avoid them. List everything you are concerned about, everything that you feel can go out of control and anything else you can’t stop agonizing over. Spend some time finding ways to overcome those difficulties.
Ask yourself these questions:
‘How I can I make it happen?’
‘How can I overcome this difficulty?’
‘What can I do to make this easier?’
This approach will shift your mind to finding a solution instead of looking for excuses why things won’t work out and will bring more productive results.
Worried you’re going to say the wrong thing? → Make sure you’ve planned and practiced what you’re going to say so you don’t give the wrong information.
Afraid that people will judge you for something they see in the background of your shot? → Set up your camera, take a picture, and review the shot to make sure there’s nothing you don’t want to show in the background.
Nervous about how people are going to react to your video? → Remember what’s essential to include in your video (like a specific action you want your audience to take) and be sure you practice saying it.
Anxious that your video won’t be good? → Focus on bringing value instead of producing a perfect video. Think about all the things you’d like to show and focus on how you can do it.
Scared that the entire filming process is going to be a failure? → Plan it visually so that you know what’s going on and you don’t just randomly wing it then hope for the best once it’s posted.
#4 – Remember There’s Always a Delete Button
We often think of the Internet as a stone that everything we post gets carved into. As if every single piece of information, every single post (and in this case, every single video) stayed there forever shining bright with neon lights, attracting every single bypasser’s attention and inviting them to criticise.
Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but most of our posts reach only about 6-7% of our followers (source: socialmediatoday.com). Also, how many people’s posts have you scrolled through that have actually stayed in your head? How many times have you come back to each one of those to look at them and (maybe?!) criticise?
Remember your answers to these questions when you think about your own content.
It’s very tempting to feel we’re special (and we are, indeed!), but there are millions of people online and each one of us is fighting for attention, so you might as well just go for it and post your video – what if it wins you a client?
And then, if you don’t like what you’ve posted, you can always delete it! The same goes for other people’s comments.
Even if you post a video, even if it’s live, you can always delete it from the Internet.
Remember, it doesn’t have to be there forever.
You can take away that pressure of eternal failure by understanding that you actually control anything that has to do with the content you post – including deleting it at any point if you don’t like it or feel like it doesn’t serve a purpose anymore.
This will help relax your mind so you can focus on what you need to say, and not on any mistakes you might make in the production process.
I realize you’re very worried about posting on the Internet, but with so many businesses using video content these days, it’s likely that your content will go unnoticed if you decide to remove it.
#5 – Set Your Mind Up for Success
Remember all the times when you received amazing feedback from people about the work that you do. Remember how many people you helped, and how they admired you and the services or products you offer.
Bring that appreciation and those grateful comments to the front of your mind.
Reflect on how great your work actually is, who it helps, and what you do. With that energy, you’ll be able to set yourself up for success to film a video that will actually deliver all of that information.
Focus on the fact that you’re doing this for people who really need your help. So even though you will be putting yourself out there, you will be exposing yourself to people who genuinely need your services.
With your video, you give them an opportunity to get to know you better, trust you more deeply, and actually buy from you faster as well. You’ll spare them any posts they’d have to read through (and it’s proven to take more time than watching concise videos) and any research on your personality by simply showing up being yourself and meeting them virtually.
So you’ll be able to help your audience much faster than if you keep hiding and try to rely on all the different means of marketing yourself apart from video. Sounds like a win-win situation, doesn’t it?
I just want to remind you before you go on enjoying your day that, as I mentioned before, your fears of being judged are completely valid, but there’s no reason why they should hold you back from putting your videos online.
Following these tips above will not only get you past your fears but will also help you create authentic and genuine content your audience is sure to love.
Looking to create an even greater impact with your online presence?
I run a Visibility Matters programme where we dive deep to uncover and release your blocks that stop you from being more visible and fully reaching your audience!
By the end of the programme you’ll be able to show up and post videos consistently, plus you’ll create 5 pieces of video content alongside my expertise.
Learn more and sign up for a free consultation here.